


Emotional Healing

by Skadiyoko



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF, X-Ray & Vav (Cartoon)
Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-26
Updated: 2015-09-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 10:19:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4873063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skadiyoko/pseuds/Skadiyoko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>X-Ray and Vav have an unsurprisingly gay heart to heart. </p>
<p>No homo, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Emotional Healing

**Author's Note:**

> if canon thinks I'm just gonna sit back and accept it's angst then it'S GOT ANOTHER THING COMING I'M READY TO FIGHT FOR THE HAPPINESS OF MY BOYS YOU COCKBITES

_Señor Jackass,_

_Hey, hope you got my last letter okay. Did you see those newspaper headlines? Yeah, I'm so badass, sometimes even I can't believe it. We're still doing great without you, btw. Mom's super proud of me. Like, I'm pretty much the light of her life. She doesn't even think twice about you. I mean, why would she? I'm the man in her life that makes her happy. You know, the one that's stayed by her side through thick and thin? So there's really no reason for her to remember you. She made fajitas last night, and they were fucking awesome. Her cooking has gotten way better since you left. It doesn't taste bitter anymore. Whatever food you're eating these days, I'm sure is rotting your teeth from how gross it is. You deserve it._

_We've been working on a new case. There's this scrub named Mogar (yeah, I know, what a dumb fucking name), and he's been getting all up in our territory. We got him on the run, but he's a slippery bastard. I also went to see the Mad King not long ago. He's still a crazy asshole, but we got some info out of him. Vav went to talk to his reporter crush to try and figure out what to do next. Honestly, I kind of feel sorry for you. I bet you've never had a friend as kick-ass as Vav. People probably can't even stomach looking at you. I know I can't._

_So yeah, I should wrap this letter up. Vav should be back soon with a new lead, and I've gotta be ready to kick crime's ass, and pose for my next front page article. I'll send you a copy with the next letter I write._

_Ray_

 

Vav dropped the arm holding the letter to his side. He looked at the trash can, where he found the crumpled up paper sitting by the base of the bin. This was a lot to take in, and he stepped over to the couch to sit. He didn't know that his X-Ray was still hurting this much from his father's departure. X-Ray always acted to cocky! Always acted confident, and always had that dumb, shit-eating grin on his face. Looking back at the letter, he frowned. Yeah, X-Ray always acted so upbeat, but when was the last time Vav talked to _Ray_? No, when was the last time _Gavin_ talked to Ray? They didn't have masks, using flamboyant hero personas instead. Miss Hilda doesn't even know the real Ray and Gavin.

Being a superhero is tougher than either of them had imagined. Like, being an actual superhero. Back before they met Miss Hilda, life was a lot less stressful. Sure nobody knew who they were, and they were always made fun of for running around wearing rubber cleaning gloves and old scratchy towels tied around their necks, but they still helped people! Mostly helping old folks with their groceries, and saving cats from trees, but that was still heroic in a way! Ray was always complaining about how they never got recognition, but Gavin would argue that fame and glory did not matter. That knowing they helped someone should have been enough. Gavin was always good at lying.

It seems, though, Ray is good at lying too.

For example, X-Ray didn't tell him he went to interrogate the Mad King. Nevertheless, he has no right to be angry that his partner went behind his back and talked to that psychopath alone. It'd be pretty damn hypocritical if he was. Guilt now simmered in his stomach. It had slowly heated when he ditched X-Ray to talk to Ash alone, but now it was getting close to boiling. Sighing, Vav looked around. X-Ray wasn't here, which was a surprise in itself. The lad hated going outside, and if they weren't on duty you could always find him here, usually playing video games and offering Gavin a second controller with a smile. But he was nowhere to be seen, and that made Vav worry enough to have noticed the haphazardly crumpled paper on the floor.

Rereading the letter, it suddenly struck him that the Mad King had gotten inside his own head. Had made Vav minutely antagonize his best friend. His best friend who had been hurting all this time, and he never even noticed. X-Ray may speak his mind no matter what, wearing his heart on his sleeve, but Ray was an expert at burying feelings so deep they would never see the light of day if he didn't want them to. That was no excuse for the Brit's ignorance, though. Gavin should have seen it. Should have realized there was a reason Ray needed to be front and center in the paper. Why he played video games and avoided social relationships every single day, but still needed everyone to know who he was and praise his good deeds. Why he still hasn't gone out and tried to get his own home. If he took the time to actually pay attention, Gavin knew it was obvious that there was something very wrong with his friend. He's just too thick to have noticed at a time before everything was spiraling downwards and out of control. For once, Vav did not have a plan ready for such a situation.

A slam sounded upstairs, shaking the home even though it was not necessarily forceful. It was the front door, if he wasn't mistaken. X-Ray's voice sounded, letting his mother know he was home. As Vav's heart jumped to his throat, it hit him. Maybe Vav didn't have a plan, but Gavin could definitely figure out how to wing it. That was a specialty of his he had forgotten he had since his careful and strategic superhero side has been so dominate lately.

Shooting up, he hurriedly balled up the paper again and threw it away. Gavin skipped over to Ray's dresser, and found some forgotten casual clothes of his. It's been a while since he's worn anything other than his uniform and pajamas. Expertly stripping out of his suit, he threw on a pair of jeans and a blue t-shirt before stuffing his spandex in the drawer and closing it. Gavin tripped over a wire while running towards the TV, but luckily saved himself from eating shit, and was able to turn on the Xbox without breaking anything.

A handful of minutes passed, but Ray still had not come down, so instead of sitting there with his thumb up his ass staring at the dashboard, Gavin decided to look through the games. Violent games sounded like a bad idea right now, and he really wasn't in the mood for one anyway. That left only a limited selection. Green eyes lingered on Portal 2. Maybe they could use this as a catalyst to get back in sync? It was worth a shot. With that decided, Gavin began to load up the game. More minutes ticked by, and the torturous wait was wearing on his already strained nerves. Finally, there were footsteps coming down the stairs, and Gavin took a deep breath as he heard the handle turn.

Two steps into the room, and Ray stopped. He was also in casual wear, a black tee and khaki cargo shorts. The door closed by itself, but not all the way. They stared at each other for a moment, both feeling the air of the room, and trying to figure out the next step. Roles were reversed, and Gavin gently extended the second controller. It felt a bit like holding food out to a wary, wild animal. Ray was most definitely wary, and there had always been something feral in his stance whenever they faced real danger. His watchfulness was caution. Quick wit, instincts. Ray was a lion in human skin; proud and territorial. Anyone who didn't really know him might compare him more to a puppy, or a sloth depending on his mood. Gavin knew better, and just like an unsure animal, Ray took careful steps towards the couch, analyzing Gavin's posture and temperament. His movements were fluid, though, and a tan hand gripped the controller as he moved around the front to sit. Rustling plastic broke the tense silence, and Gavin looked to the bag in Ray's other hand.

“Oh, uh,” he faltered, noticing the GameStop logo instantly, “I didn't know you were getting a new game. Um, if you'd rather play that, I don't mind.” God this just could _not_ get any more awkward, could it?

Glancing at the bag, brown eyes turned to the hard plastic in his hands. “Nah, I'm not really sure what the game I got is about. I just got it 'cause it was a cheap return and thought, fuck it, why not?” Gavin just nodded, and started up the co-op campaign. They were quiet through the cutscene, and that in itself was a miracle. Usually the two of them were talking through the whole thing, making jokes about anything they could with dumb grins splitting their faces. That wasn't the case this time. When they were in the middle of the tutorial levels, Ray finally spoke up again. “I've actually never played co-op in this game...”

Heart beating with hope, Gavin side-eyed his partner. Ray wanted to work this out too. “How come?”

“Never had anyone to play it with.”

“You had me?”

“Yeah, but honestly I figured trying to beat this with you would be like trying to beat it with someone that only had one hand.”

“Oi!” Gavin gasped, looking at his friend in mock offense. A playful smirk pulled on Ray's lips, and that's all Gavin needed to know this was going to work out one way or another. Bumping his shoulders with his couchmate, he relaxed as that shoulder chased after his and leaned against it. Gavin was still studying Ray, noticing the dark bags under his eyes that were hard to see because of his glasses. Gone went the smirk, replaced by a resting face that couldn't be bothered to use as many muscles as usual. With a small frown, Gavin jostled them to scoot over more. Now their sides were keeping each other up, thighs touching, and every button Ray pushed with his left hand, Gavin felt up his right arm. He let his eyes droop a little. Gavin was tired too.

Neither said much as they played, content to let the atmosphere shift from suffocating, to hazy. Play until they could breathe again, and let their muscles relax. Eventually, they melted into each other, skin pliant and able to mold however it needed. The first bunch of stages were hard on them, even though they were the easiest. However, given how their communication was so off in real life, Gavin expected that. By the time the tension wore off, though, they were almost back at one hundred percent. Able to solve puzzles with little to no communication. Sometimes a soft grunt was all the other needed for direction.

Relief flooded through Gavin. Their seams were being stitched back together. He prayed that the thread was strong.

All good things must come to an end, they say. As much as he didn't want to break the mood, he knew he had to if they were going to get anywhere closer to healing. Gavin figures Ray knows this too. Tonight was not just about silent apologies, and obvious mistakes left forgiven and forgotten. What was happening to them was too big for something so soft and easy. When Gavin took a deep breath through his nose, Ray's entire body tensed. Braced itself. They were both steadying themselves for the storm that was about to blow through. He kept playing, though. A little disassociation would make this a bit easier on both of them. “We fucked up.”

This time it was Ray who had to take a deep breath. Gavin could physically feel his lungs expanding, and from the corner of his eye, saw Ray give a jerked nod. They played silently for a little longer, knowing he didn't need to prompt his friend. Ray would speak up, he just had to get his thoughts together first. (As if he hadn't been preparing for this conversation since the moment he took that Xbox controller.) Although his thoughts were traveling at a million miles a minute, Ray eventually decided on what path to traverse. Gavin was both ecstatic and distraught that it was the most exhausting. The truthful path.

“I went to see the Mad King by myself, too.”

Gavin already knew this, but Ray didn't know that he knew. Should he bring up the letter now, or wait until later? Glancing at Ray from the corner of his eye, he decided later. That seemed like a more emotional road, and right now they were talking business. “What did you talk about with him?”

Dark eyes fluttered, blinking away the sudden resurfacing emotions the conversation must have brought up. All of a sudden, he felt a sharp pang at his heartstrings. Gavin thought the Mad King messed with him badly, but from the look of pure distress taking over Ray's features, he had gotten fucked with much, much worse. Anger bubbled up in Gavin's belly, but he put on his best poker face. Don't want to make an already fragile man shake even more. Ray shifted, pulling a leg under himself and slumping down in the cushions even more. Making himself smaller. “Well, I went in there to interrogate him about Mogar,” he started, and that wording alone let Gavin know that that topic had been thrown aside somewhere during the visit. “And fuck...” leering down at his knees, Ray sighed, aura visibly getting damper, “I didn't even get any fuckin' info out of him,” he mumbled mostly to himself, as if he just realized what had happened. How effortlessly he had been manipulated.

Quiet consumed them again, but this time Ray was shaking. Staring at the controller in his hands, and trying to bottle up the fury rushing through his veins. However, he's been holding his brimming emotions in for too long. Shaking such a full can is bound to explode.

A loud _bang_ echoed throughout the room. Ray's arm was extended, the shattered remains of his controller sitting on the floor near the opposite wall. A new hole sat above the controller, bits of drywall settling around the scene. Pieces of cracked black plastic scattered around the room; the A button rolled under the side table, and the left trigger was nowhere to be seen. “He fuckin' played me,” he growled, hunching forward and fisting his fingers into the fabric of his shorts. “He fuckin' played me! And I went along with it like a _chump_!” Gavin watched him with worry, but did not dare speak up. “Like he was a goddammed tiger, and I was some half-dead antelope or some shit!” Ray's eyes were wide, thick brows creased, and teeth gritting together in a way that had to be painful. “Why was I even there? Why was I there?! All I did was fucking feed him! All I did was talk about myself! He fucking smelled me and made me go off about that dumb reporter chick! Like, how you gonna smell me through, like, five inches of glass?? Fuck off, you creepy fuck!”

Catching that part about Ash, there was a twist in Gavin's gut that felt like betrayal. It definitely upset him that his best friend disclosed such private information of his, and now that mad man knew about Ash. She was in trouble. Shit. And oh God, that was why he gave that information over so readily! Ray must have gone to see him first, and Gavin had walked into the Mad King's trap just as easily as his partner. He'd been played just as beautifully as Ray. There was no way he could fault the other lad any more than he can fault himself.

“And I just! Kept! Going! I wouldn't fucking shut up about myself! I fuckin' sat down and told that asshole my life story! What the flying FUCK is wrong with me?!!” As he got more and more worked up, Ray's voice got louder and louder, even cracking on some words here and there. His mother must be able to hear him, but thank God she's a smart woman, and Gavin can take solace in the knowledge that she won't come down since she knows he's here. “I can't BELIEVE how much absolute SHIT spewed outa my mouth! I told him about my good for nothing FUCKING SON OF A BITCH of a dad, I told him how hard it was growing up without a father figure, I told him about my first crush, and how assholes liked to shove me around in school, and how even though I got shitty grades I was a goddamn mathlete!” His voice was straining now, sometimes words barely got a voice, catching on quickening breaths. Tears were forming in the corners of Ray's eyes, and he quickly shoved his hands under his glasses to hide his shame. A small sob hitched in his throat. “Something's fucking wrong with me. I acted like he was my dad, didn't I? Told him all this shit, thinking, for some _fucking_ reason, he would actually say something supportive?” Snuffling. “And now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know why. I don't understand what was going through my head to make me think something like that..” Rubbing his eyes, Ray took his hands away. His face was red and blotchy, and he rubbed his nose on the shoulder of his shirt. “He said I never grew up. That I'm still not okay about my dad leaving, and..” here he gasped another shuddering breath, “and he said it was only a matter of time before you left me too.”

And wasn't that a kick in the knob? Not only did he just find out his best friend has abandonment issues, but here _he_ was, the great superhero Vav, falling into a villain's trap to make him also abandon Ray. To hurt Ray in the worst way he possibly could. If he left, he would have shattered the man, and there would be no one but his overwhelmed mother to try and pick up the pieces.

Gavin was absolutely on his way to doing just that, wasn't he? The Mad King had said the same thing to him, about how his partner was immature, and holding him back. He had believed it. Had believed their friendship was burning out, and that he would be more successful alone. He had still been upset at how Ray was blinded by jealousy when it came to Mogar. How he had directly let that awful chef stab the poor wild man in the stomach, all because of some petty need to have strangers sing praise of X-Ray and Vav, and only X-Ray and Vav. But now, since he had read that letter, since he had heard Ray out on what happened in that cell, he's finally beginning to understand why Ray has been acting the way he has. By no means does it excuse his actions, but at least now Gavin knows the reasoning behind his partner's self-centered attitude, and hotheaded outbursts.

Tears were now streaming fully from brown eyes. Ray was constantly wiping them, sniffing up snot and, unsuccessfully, trying to breathe without letting out the pitiful sounds working their way up his throat. It broke Gavin's heart. Smashed it to smithereens, and forced tears to well up in his own eyes. He could tell Ray was done with his outburst, unable to speak without choking on his voice, throat probably constricting every time he tried to force out more words. Gavin put his arms around the man, and brought him in close. Ray willingly sagged into him, still hellbent on wiping his eyes even though it was a lost cause at the moment. Stubborn even in his weakest state, and it made Gavin's chest clench in a sort of melancholy mirth.

Long fingers ran through black locks. Ray's hair was a little greasy, but whatever. He guesses now was as good a time as any to tell his side. Continuing to card his fingers through Ray's hair, he pulled him in further and maneuvered his friend to lay his head on his chest. “He didn't tell me much when I went to see him,” Gavin started, “kept his tongue slick, and kept dodging direct answers. He said he knew more than I did about Mogar, but when I asked if he knew who kidnapped his mother, he gave me those reports. But..” Here, his throat closed up. It started burning a little, and Ray tried to peek up at him, but he wouldn't be able to say what he needed if he saw that face, so he urged Ray to keep his face in his chest. Of course Ray complied, withdrawing at an omen as ill as that, and clutching at blue cotton. “Then he asked me why I was friends with you,” Ray was squirming again, but Gavin held him down still, “I said we'd always been friends, and he said I'd..I'd outgrown you..” Strong hands clenched and unclenched, squeezing at Gavin's sides so hard they were sure to leave bruises. “He said you were holding me back, but,” he inhaled, but he still felt like he was suffocating, “I said you weren't. I said we were a team, and he let me have the files, but.. but his words wouldn't leave my head.” Slamming green eyes shut, Gavin curled into Ray, gripping him harder and pulling him in as close as he could. “I'm sorry. I'm so damn sorry, Ray. I-I believed him. I told myself that I didn't, but I did and that's why I went to see Ash alone. And then I came back and I saw your letter crumpled up by the bin and I read it and I'm sorry but at the same time I'm not because if I didn't read it I don't think I would have realized what I'd been doing and he would have fucking won, Ray, he would have won and I would have been pushing you away and I let him get to me I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm so sorry.” Gavin thinks he might have been in hysterics, mouthing I'm sorrys into Ray's hair like it was a prayer that would make all the bad things go away forever. A part of him probably believed that it was.

And Ray, the firecracker that he was, finally pulled away from Gavin's weakening grip. Before he knew it, a fist smashed into his face, and Ray was back smothering his face in Gavin's soft shirt. If the hand he was clutching to his nose didn't come back smeared wet and red, he would have thought he had imagined it. Did he really deserve that? Gavin did not really think so, but he'll take it in stride. They were both a mess right now, inside and out, and if a little violence helped Ray out in any way, well, whatever. Water under the bridge, and all that. Sure as eggs is eggs, the moment they were having would never leave this room anyway.

For a while they stayed like that, Ray's hair tickling Gavin's neck, and his tears soaking his shirt. Gavin held Ray tight with one arm, while the other was pinching his nose shut. Eventually, though, it had to come to an end. Mostly because blood was oozing down Gavin's chin and was well on it's way to dripping in dark hair. Giving a squeeze of warning, Gavin sat Ray back, and looked at his face for the first time since his confession. Thick rimmed glasses were crooked, painful looking red marks in random places around heavy eyes where the frames were crushed against Ray's skin, and lenses smudged so bad there was no way he could see through them. Behind his glasses, his eyes were red and still watery, and by the way Ray rubbed at them, definitely irritated. No tear tracks were in sight, everything that would have ran down his face having left a dark blue splotch on Gavin's shirt. His hair was in disarray, ruffled in the back, but stuck to his forehead in the front. All in all, Ray looked a mess with a flushed, blotchy face, and snot covered hands he not-so-discreetly wiped on his shorts.

Gavin knew he couldn't say anything though. Not only had he been crying as well, but he was also nursing a bloody nose, and was sure his face was starting to bruise where it was punched. So he did what he considered only applicable in a situation like this. Taking his bloody hand away from his nose, the brunette wiped it on Ray's arm with a smirk. “Get me some bloody tissues, you brute,” he commanded, Ray shrieking half jokingly, half in honest outrage at the blood on his arm.

Ray took the still wet arm, and launched forward to wipe it wherever he could on Gavin, which happened to be on his shirt near his right ribcage. “You're a fucking heathen, get the fuck away from me you gross motherfucker oh my God,” he sneered, jumping up from the couch and hurrying out of the room and storming up the stairs. Gavin could hear the distinct sound of the bathroom door squeaking from all the way down in Ray's room, and the quick spurt of fear that clamped down on his heart when Ray ran out disappeared.

Sitting back, he went back to holding his nose and closed his eyes. A pleasant sting shivered across his face and down his spine, and he really did not want to open them again in the near future. Emotional exhaustion finally took it's grip, dragging him down to almost-unconsciousness as his mind drifted. The bathroom door squeaked again, jarring him awake. Then the basement door opened, and Gavin could hear soft steps padding over to the couch. He finally cracked his eyes open when the cushions sagged next to him. There was Ray, looking slightly less red than when he left, a stained wet washcloth in one hand, and a roll of toilet paper in the other. Gently, he leaned forward and grabbed Gavin's chin to start dabbing and wiping the drying blood from his skin. The rag was warm, and when it got to his nostrils he could smell laundry detergent and a hint of bleach.

When Ray was done, the washcloth had patches of crimson all over it, and the boy threw it towards the door before handing over the TP. “I figured with a schnoz as big as yours, it was safer to bring a whole roll.”

“Very funny,” Gavin pouted, a slight smile threatening to tug at his lips. Ripping a few squares off, he started to roll them into little pills that would clog up his nose.

Before he could insert them, Ray grabbed his cheek and pulled him in to place a tender kiss on his hurting nose. “Sorry,” he whispered, locking eyes and frowning with regret. He moved back, giving Gavin the space to plug up the holes. Once that was done, Ray was right back in his personal bubble, worming his way half into Gavin's lap, and picking up the not broken controller from the floor where the Brit placed it before all those emotions happened. Aptly backing out to the main menu, he started up single player. “Due to unfortunate and unforeseen circumstances, we can't play co-op anymore, so how about we just take turns in campaign?”

Looking down at his companion, Gavin snorted, shooting one of the bloody nostril wads out and hitting Ray's ear. They both stared at it as it hit the floor. “Whoops,” Gavin said, voice strained before a guffaw burst out of his mouth.

“Oh my God stOP RUBBING YOUR SNOT BLOOD ALL OVER ME JESUS CHRIST GAVIN!” Ray wailed, but couldn't help laughing half way through. They laughed for a while, Gavin trying to roll up another few squares with shaky hands, and Ray accidentally hitting the home button on his controller. Once they settled down, the two shifted until they were comfortable again. Gavin was squished between the arm of the couch and Ray, and Ray was pressed against Gavin's entire side, hooking their arms so they could be close, but also easily use the controller. Finally the game started, and the duo spent a while winding down from their emotional breakdowns in peace.

The day was getting closer to an end, sky turning pink and purple trough the window, and the temperature dropping just enough to be noticeable. They were still playing, making witty quips and dumb jokes here and there, arguing over the best way to solve a puzzle, and giving as enthusiastic of cheers as they could whenever they accidentally solved a puzzle in a roundabout way that definitely should not have worked.

Time ticked away, and it was even later. Ray's eyes were barely open, and his fingers were sluggish, often pressing the wrong button, or slipping off of the stick. The sky had been black for hours now, and both boys had barely moved from their positions other than when pee breaks were needed. Gavin decisively made a call, and took the controller from Ray's weak grasp. Turning off the system, he blindly felt for the remote on the table beside him, and turned the TV off as well. The room turned black, neither able to see much, but not caring. It was quiet, and dark, and they welcomed it.

“Ray,” Gavin murmured, eyes closed and head resting on the back of the sofa. Ray hummed in acknowledgment, not moving from where he was slumped and resting his head on Gavin's shoulder. “I won't ever leave you.” The body against him stiffened a little, and Gavin ran a hand down it's side to soothe him. “I love you, Ray. Okay?”

Ray took a deep breath and held it, nodding his head. “Yeah. Love you too.”

Shifting just a little bit, Gavin let his whole body relax until he was at the brink of consciousness. “Let's kick the Mad King's cock in.”

Both heros were drifting off to sleep with slight headaches, clearer minds, and glowing embers of resolve burning in their chests. The Mad King was going to regret starting this game with them, they would make sure of it. “Fuck yeah.”

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This really isn't intended to be shippy, but I'm not gonna yell at anyone if they take it that way. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> Thank you to Tori for keeping on me and making me finish this! This would have inevitably been abandoned if it wasn't for her staying on my ass. vov/
> 
> skadiyoko.tumblr.com


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